TOO SCARED TO STOP

it’s not over yet!

Dear reader,

You might be in for a ride on this one.

I’ve had a troublesome 2015

Physical setbacks (digestion issues was only the start of it!) broken toe (yes, again I’ve broken the toe), aggravated myΒ C2 neck fascia joint (too physical and not focusing on flexibility and mobily of my body)

Car blow ups and break downs…4k later and it’s still unwell

My mum broke her arm ( titanium plate ouch!) which means my single mum status just got a whole bunch tougher without my babysitter and sometimes housekeeper!

You see I have this reputation, even a self projection you could say that i’m ‘tough’, super resilient and quite bloody stubborn. But this past few months have been an interesting challenge to find my flow and joy each day.

I don’t dare say it’s been the worse experience because it’s been emotionally far tougher BUT it’s been a constant stream of hick-ups, hurdles and straight out beltings to the head! Yet, I’m ok.

I know there are thousands of self help books, quotes and top tips to being happy, finding happiness, becoming happy etc. but it’s with this recent experience this year that I want to remind you (and me) that what drives us all is often fear.

Fear? Yea well how many decisions do you make in your life are based on some form of fear? Remembering fear can be quite unrecognisable at times with anxiety, anger and even un-noticed sadness. I know for me I’ve been in a whirlwind of emotional stuff this year even if to my friends and clients i’ve been cool….well i’m still cool πŸ˜‰

I’m TOO SCARED TO STOP

”The perception of happiness is really the calmness and simplicity that we can deal with fear”

To translate that thought, we are all happy or we would not look for oncoming traffic before we cross a road. What we are though is in fear of…pain, death, rejection, emotional hurt, life travesties that may occur.

So how do we rid ourselves of fear to be happy?

We don’t!

No this isn’t a long winded post to just say ‘that’s life get over it’ it’s quite the opposite. Finding a way of embracing the fear or whatever guise it comes in is in fact part of the happiness of life. The ‘BATTLE AGAINST’ anxiety is huge these days and whilst I have suffered for all of my life fearing planes, lifts and anything too crowded or inclosed I have still managed to be happy on the same days I have experienced these fears…sometimes more than others but none the less life did in fact bring me a joy of some sort. Ending a panic or a dramatic episode of fear in our life can be joyess in itself, but you will find when you embrace the oncoming fear with love and respect that it is just as powerful emotion as is love, sadness, joy then it becomes just that…anther emotion that will in fact pass.

DEALING WITH IT

Well you can google to your hearts content on this one, or should I say till you found your answer to calm you the fuck down. Don’t worry I’ve done it myself…neck pain + tiredness +heart palpitations + + + + = you are just fine Sara!!

I’ve written before about resetting our habits and spending time in your life to understand why you may have gone through certain life experiences so that you cane more emotionally secure and resilient for future punches or pushovers.

Tacking fear doesn’t have to be an unconscious road. I believe that drinking problems, anger problems or any form of repetitive and addictive habits can be a form of fear that we won’t embrace, work with and let go of.

IM SO SCARED OF

What are you so scared of?

Here’s my top ones coming to mind tonight as I write this, because of course fear to come and go and change on us at any time!

  1. My son’s health/safety/welbeing
  2. My mum – she’s like an annoying big sister but i’d be lost without my rock
  3. Emotional war with MONEY…I don’t want it but I want it argh! know what i mean?
  4. My own health/wellbeing
  5. Claustrophobia/panic – It only takes one severe panic attack to fear ever having another. My life hurdle I often say is braving situations all the time despite the sweaty palms and the irrational & sometimes rational thinking

I’m sure if I dug deeper there would be more but these are the ones that flow quickly to here and I know are the ones that are closest to me.

I’ll leave you with one of my mentors Geoff Thompsons pieces

Visit by Fear - Geoff Thompson