THE DISCOMFORT KEY – Changes worth making!
Let’s jump into this topic head first shall we?!
Who told us that we must feel comfortable at all times, that life is simply not good if there is pain, difficultly or even stress? The Discomfort Key is what I’m writing about today, it’s been so long since I’ve written and I wanted to bring focus returning to my blogs on mastering the art of change through discomfort!
I find that we hit a point of discomfort and look for a way to relieve the pressure of the uncomfortable situation or pain by finding a way to go BACK to how we were before the ‘discomfort’. Sometimes we find a quick remedy to ‘fix’ it or make it go away quickly. In fact discomfort is a great sign to grow and change, to progress and move into something new. To discover your strength, your capability and YOUR power. Changes worth making I promise you!
Clients (us humans) often find many levels of discomfort when exercising or discussing their true desires. It’s not easy to actually speak out on what your REALLY want and when asked some people hesitate or a frightened to say it, to own it and to let it out. An emotional upturn from noticing change or desperately wanting change and feeling embarrassed can happen too. There can even be financial discomfort for some depending on the situation and even peer pressure to be or not be/pursue whatever it is they are after.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME
On reflection of my life of many (thousands it feels like) moments of discomfort there is a pattern that occurs. I would either find ways for a quick fix to my pain whether it physical or emotional, financial or later in my life I would seek help like therapy, education to understand the situation and learn skills to change my thinking and my behavior to see things from a different perceptive.
To be clear so many times I chose the quick fix, the pain killers, the retail shopping, the excessive socialising lifestyle (you know what i mean by excessive right?!) I would ignore, find excuses (mostly lame but yet convincing) and I would even lie to others and most of all to myself. Sound familiar? Don’t worry no body else is reading this right now but you so your secret is safe with me.
What I discovered with the ‘fix’ lifestyle was that my level of discomfort never actually went away, in some cases like chronic neck pain, emotional eating, using exercise as punishment,sabotaging relationships that actually meant the world to me I still ended up in the same place, sitting in that sludge pool of difficulty and frustrating discomfort.
Wishing I could say there was just a switch for me and I changed but ironically the change I needed was the same change that so many people around me I noticed desperately needed but weren’t doing either. So many, because at the time it felt like everyone I knew. Giving myself time and truly learning the art of patience and calm I can say was the gift that got me started. We may experience a particular situation where someone is so generous it starts a new-found effect on our physiology or maybe a person that even their presence and how they live their life with Growth being the priority can be the roll-out to new beginnings.
For me it was sometimes people, podcasts (Geoff Thompson was my main hero) and even just noticing the quiet when I rid myself of the situations and people who were effecting my decisions and most of all my confidence!
Then I noticed that there were people no longer in my life that had ‘moved on’. They had actually moved on and ‘evolved’ you see I attracted like-minded people like a tribal group you could say. That Tribe was no longer for me and I was ready to move on.
A 10 YEAR JOURNEY!
I’m not even a remnant of the person I once was. I always thought of whether my mother would approve, if someone would like me more if I did something for them or if my body would be more attractive if I treated it certain ways. I had no confidence, I was anxious I was the master of self sabotage and I was a nervous wreck on the inside with chronic neck, throat and shoulder inflammation and pain. Not that most people even noticed either.
I looked happily married, financial stable, thin, employed and had lots of invitations! I stumbled through all of my discomforts and my fears and rarely leaped over them like the lioness I so wish I was.
Now just a side note here, if along my journey of hard times, being challenged, sad, worried, panicky and stressed I sort only the opinion of general practitioner or my local miserable and jealous friend I would have found myself likely heavily medicated, no doubt have an established eating disorder, earning an ‘income’ in a career i loathed and who knows if I would be still married or not *For the record I’m happily divorced!
Fortunately I was never one to just go with the flock of sheep and always sort more information, more from people, more from everything I ever came across which lead me to some doors wide open ready to welcome me in. All I needed to do, was embrace the discomfort and not run from it. I needed to be proud of where I stood on any given day knowing I had other options at all times.
LOCKED OUT AND MOVING ON
Then I needed to put the key in each door that no longer worked for me and close it! Tightly! Locked! No more turning BACK. Only going forward, through the challenges each and every challenge that arises. Time changed things as I locked those old doors, I studied. met new people and left people and I traveled, married, divorced, I bought, sold, changed hobbies, changed careers, changed my body image and changed myself over and over again. No longer was I her, that scared worried girl. I’d become a human being, doing, feeling and being present in myself.
ONLINE COACHING NOW AVAILABLE
My life purpose is to care for others in a nurturing way through coaching, exercise and support, I desire to help people on their own journeys but before anyone comes me. When I am caring for my own needs first the life I live is better in every way.
With good intentions through sharing my writing I hope I am able to help you find your strength and lock some of those old doors that no longer serve you and inspire you to find courage to meet that discomfort and face the challenge that will grow you like you wouldn’t believe!
As a new service I am extending my coaching to online. Please contact me via the link to book in your online session.
In health and kindness